Who Wears Short Shorts

THE FACTS: One day a strapping young lad woke up and thought, "Holy cow! It is 107 degrees outside and all I have are these pants...wait, I know, I'll cut off my pants. Not only will I be cooler, but I will also be making a fashion statement. [Insert my sexy pose!]"

THE POINT: Now both men and women can be seen wearing the young man's vision. So as one of those things that we may experience in life, I had my group of opinions ban together to express their feelings on the matter of shorts, mainly the evolution and current styles of shorts. And joining us will be a man of great skill, The Tailor.

THE DISCUSSION:

THE PROFESSOR: Short have had a great evolution beginning with pants and the slow evolution to shorts. Men in fact use to run around in a one-pieced garb known as a caveman-onsies. You can read all about them in my recent publication available in in the gift shop for the low price of $67.95. I will not be discussing anymore because my book explains everything that we are conversing.

THE PREACHER: Shorts are a sign of the devil! The LORD in HIS goodness and mercy gave us pants for us menfolk and skirts and dresses for the women. We can't go around making abominations of ourselves wearin' shorts. If you wear shorts, you are an instrument of the devil! AMENNNNNN!

THE EMO/GOTH: Why wear shorts? They only make you conform to a group that doesn't even realize the true pain it is causing.

THE REALIST: I seriously don't know why I even come to these "discussions." It doesn't even matter.

THE WALLFLOWER: ...

THE PREACHER: Where's the wallflower?

THE EMO/GOTH: He didn't even show up. What a loser!

THE WALLFLOWER: Guys, I'm right here. I don't want to talk because every time I do, you always shut me dow...

ALL: Who are you? Be quiet! Nobody was talking to you!

THE HIPPIE: Shorts are our way of expressing our freedom man. They encourage love for all of Mother Earth's creatures.

THE CHILD: One time Mommy and me were shopping, and there was a lady and she had shorts up to her butt and I saw her underwear and Mommy said that wasn't very good.

THE TAILOR: Ah shorts, not my favorite topic, but an enjoyable one nonetheless. Most people don't come to me to me have adjustments made but I digress...what were we discussing?

ME: Thank you again everyone. I always enjoy our conversations.

WHAT I THINK: It really doesn't matter to me about what people wear or were their wares originated. Just keep in mind ladies and gentlemen, I do not want to see your underwear. That's not good.